Hi all. You must have thought I was dead. Nope. Just been busy. You know Christmas, Birthday, exams...yup. Actually this fic was just one to clear my mind off my others. I have two other T/P ones in the works, but I don't want to puplish them until I get a good idea of where they're headed, that way won't get writer's block half way through. All right, enough yaking. I don't own Dragon Ball or its characters, I don't own Burger King or Dairy Queen and I don't own 'How could and Angel break my heart' by Toni Braxton. They all belong to someone else, so don't sue.
June 12th
Why do I do this to myself? Wait, don't answer that. Things have been getting more and more stressed in my life. Stop that right now! I know what you're thinking!
'Gee, what can be screwed up about your life? You get to be a super-human, have two loving parents, smart...' Ya, whatever. I'll tell you what is screwed up. It's all his fault! Great, now I'm just making no sense. Alright. Let me start at the beginning.
I woke up this morning, and it seemed like a normal morning. Dad was busy reading the newspaper when I walked in for breakfast. How can he read all the time anyway?! Oh well, getting off topic. After scarfing down some food (I can't even tell you what I ate. All I know is, it was food.) I started to walk to school. It is really pretty outside at this time of year. I notice these things more and more lately. Well, since dad refuses to let me fly to school, I gotta concentrate on something. As I was walking along the sidewalk to get to school, a car pulled up on the curb. I didn't really pay much attention to it, until the passenger window was rolled down and the driver called out,
"Hey, Pan! Wanna ride?" Looking over, I saw just who was driving the red capsule corp. car. Now I'll give you three guesses, but the first two don't count. Yup, it was Trunks. My own personal savior. So I quickly balance things in my mind. Let's see.
Guess what I picked. Yes, the next thing I knew I was sitting in the passenger seat, beside the most wanted bachelor that ever existed through both time and space.
Now, I'm sure you are well aware of my crush...no, that is way to small of a word, more like obsession with this guy. I can't explain it, but he is everything I would ever want in a guy. He's fun to be with, strong (which means I can spar with him and everything). He's sexy and sweet and beautiful. He's got the most amazing eyes.. And his hair. Dende, you can't blame me. In fact, how can you when 1/3 of earth's population is ga-ga over him as well. So where does this place me? The little selfish tomboy, second sister that's 14 years younger than him? Let me tell you, not too high up on his list of 'Girls to Date'. As I am totally crunching on him, he asks me a question, I think just to break the silence, not that he really cares, although he might because we are friends.
"You excited about grad?" Ack, that's right. I totally forgot to tell you. This is my last year in high-school, (thank Dende). I'm 18 now and I'll be outta school in 14 days! Umm, yes, I'm sure you just did the math. Trunks is 32. Don't look at me like that! Do you think I get to choose who I love? Hold it! I did not just say that! Yet, I did. Umm, do you think I get to choose who I like? LIKE, LIKE, LIKE!!! I told Trunks that I was happy to get out of highschool, but that it just made more responsibilities and stuff.
"Well, you're 18 now, it's time you had some more responsibilities. You get used to it. I know I did." Man, way to make me feel low. I sorta just melted into the seat. What does he think I am? I do have responsibilities. I mean, isn't fighting and trying to reach super-sayian a task in its own? I don't think we said much more on ride. He got me to school, and I thanked him, and he just said "anytime Panny." Smiling at my nickname, I made it into school.
I was packing some of my books into my locker when one of my friends, Megan, came up to me and started shrieking. I had no idea what was going on, but she sure seemed happy. She finally stops screaming and says. "My gawd Pan, you are the most luckiest girl ever!" Then she tilts her head and looks at something behind me, shrieks and runs away. Ya, I know Megan is weird, but... Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly turned around and saw...
"Hey Panny." Peter said in a smooth tone. I was seething. Only a select few can get away with calling me Panny, and all those people happen to have sayian blood, and Peter does not. But what can I do? Peter is the most hunkiest guy at our school. He's captain of the football team, and every girl loves him. I'm sure I would too, if I could get a certain lavender-haired boy outta my mind.
"Hi Peter." I said, doing my best to ignore his stare. He was staring at me with those deep chestnut eyes of his. What can I say? He is cute.
"Umm, Pan, I guess I wanta..." He was stuttering! Around me! Despite my intelligence, I had no idea of what was going to happen. "I was thinking, that since.. Well, would you go to grad with me?" Let me tell you something, I froze. Completely. What was I supposed to say? I mean, he's cute, sweet, crush-worthy... but he's not Trunks. But, I can never get Trunks, so...
"Peter, I
Oh wait. Dad's calling me. I'll finish later.
June 13th
Last night.. When dad called me he said that we were all going over to CC. Big deal, I go there all the time, right? Wrong. Everybody was there.. And I mean everybody! Turns out that Bulma was itching to throw a party, but needed an occasion, and since my grad was 14 (now only 13!) days away, she saw this as an opportunity. Bulma wanted to have some disco theme, but no one really liked that idea. So all of the adults.. wait, no. All of the mothers plus Krillen and grandpa thought up some ideas. I have no idea where dad went off to, but I know Vegeta went to his beloved gravity room, and Yamcha went home (he wouldn't be here for my grad party) and that old pervert Roshi came in to watch tv with the kids (Trunks, Uncle G, Marron, Bra and me). Bra had already been watching a movie, so we all kinda just were watching the rest of it. Marron and Bra (and I think even Roshi) were all into it, but Trunks, Uncle G and I could have used some more action. They were watching some romance/comedy.. I don't know if you have ever heard of it, it was called "Never Been Kissed", which I thought was kinda weird, cuz everyone has been kissed! Bra explained that it meant never been kissed in that way - where the world stops and it's only you and that person.. Or something like that. Well, it turns out for their prom, they had a theme of 'couples throughout history' or something to that extent. Well, Bra thought this was a stupendous idea, so she ran and told all the parents, who actually agreed! So now that's our theme, except we changed it to 'best' or 'unlikely'. Then we had to pick the couples. Everyone who was married was a couple, but then all the singles, got to draw names. It wasn't that hard, there were only the three of us (me, Marron and Bra). Our names were put in a hat and Trunks, Uncle G and (cringe) Master Roshi were drawing. Obviously they wouldn't make Goten and me, or Trunks and Bra go as a pair... Well, Goten was the first to draw. He pulled Bra's name. I felt soo happy for her, I mean I think she has a crush on my uncle. Then Roshi went to pick his. Well, this was it. He could either pick my name and make my life hell, or he could pick Marron's, which would allow me to get Trunks. Well, someone up there loves me, cuz he pulled Marron. (She collapsed on the ground crying) Trunks calmly reahed into the hat, even though there was only one name in there. He pulled out the small sheet of pink paper with 'Panny' written on it, and smiled.
"Well, looks like I get the guest of honor." Oh, I melted on the spot with that smile of his. So now the couples are:
Gradpa and Grandma, Bulma and Vegeta, Krillen and 18, dad and mom, Roshi and Marron, Goten and Bra, and me and Trunks. Then whoever else comes has to bring a date, I guess. Well, I guess things are finally going my way.
June 14th
You have to tell me when I leave off in the middle of a story like that! I can't remember all of this by myself! Alright, so I was with Peter and I said,
"Peter, I can't go with you." I know, but I couldn't. "See, I have a crush, and I'm hoping he would ask me... that's all." I know Trunks will never go, but the thing is I couldn't go with Peter. I'd feel like I was betraying Trunks. I thought Peter would be mad, but he just kinda nodded and left me there. All through homeroom, all I could think of was that my life was being controlled by a fantasy. By lunch Megan was ready to strangle me for saying no to Peter. I can't blame her. I don't know why I said that, I just did.
However, that was two days ago, today I saw Peter agian. He came up to me at my locker at the same time as before. I think he corners me right before homeroom, so I have to answer him right away. He said,
"Panny, can we make a comprimise? See, I really want to go with you, but you're waiting for some otehr guy. So, how about, if he doesn't ask you by the 25th, you'll come as my date?" Well, it was resonable request, so I just nodded my consent.
I went over to Bra's house today, and she asked who I was going with to grad. I said,
"Well, unless some millionare walks in and asks me to go, I'll be going with Peter." I had no need to say his last name. Everyone knows Peter. And best of all, I answered truthfully. Trunks is rich. Most girls find that as a major benefit, and I'm sure it's one of the reasons everyone loves him, but I kinda find that one of his flaws. I mean, whoever gets to be his wife, isn't gonna lift a finger. I don't think that's right... but why should I care? I mean, it's not like I'm ever going to fill that position.
June 15th
My world has officially come to an end. Why do the heavens do this to me?! What have I ever done to them?! I guess it all started when Bra invited me over for dinner. The two of us were watching some televison, when Bulma called us in for dinner. I'm pretty sure I actually heard Vegeta thanking Dende that Bulma had ordered take-out. Now if you know Bulma's cooking, you would not be surprised at all. We were all sitting down, when the man of my dreams and who I practically live for, steped in. Stop accusing me. I know, I'm only 18 but... when you are willing to die for him, when your first thoughts when you wake up are for him, when your last waking thoughts are him, when you realise that even if he got turned into a three headed slimy green swamp monster - that you would still crush over him... that is when you know your hooked. I realized that I will never be happy without him. Well, apparently, he has a girlfriend that I didn't know about. Seriously, he came in with his arm wrapped tightly around this red-head's waist. Now everyone else seemed to know this girl, which I now know that her name is Jessica. Oh, wait, back it all up! Did I say she was his girlfriend. Pardon me. I meant his fiancee. I'm not lying, gawd I wish I was. I'd beat myself to death just to know that it was all a lie , maybe a joke. But it's not. Bulma had asked Trunks and... Jessica to sit down, but she shook her head, and sorta hopped from foot to foot excitingly. Trunks smiled and said.
"Guys, Jessica and I are getting married."
June 15th (later)
Sorry. I was just in no mood to write anymore. I've gotten a slight bit more control of my emotions. If that's possible. Now, where was I...
"Guys, Jessica and I are getting married." Bra stood up, squealing and hugged both her brother and Jessica. Poor Bra, she doesn't know. No one knows. Just me and you. Don't you feel special now? Bulma had much the same reaction as Bra, but she just hugged Vegeta. The entire time, and I mean the entire time, Trunks stared at me. I don't know what he was looking for and I'm not sure if he found it. What did he want me to do? I don't know. I can tell you what I did do though. After the initial shoke wore off (remember this is the first time I've ever seen this girl), I know the tears were just beginning to fall. I'm quite sure that I kept them in check though. I stood up, made some dumb excuse about homework and muttered some congratulations as I walked out the door. I stood on the porch of CC for a few minutes thinking about nothing. Nothing. It's just one of those times where you just want to wake up. You're soo sure that you are living a nightmare, you can't even think of the possibility that what's happening is for real. You are so obsessed with just.. I don't know. I never do. My life has just took a turn away from the happy flower fields and into the haunted graveyard. I want to curl up and sob away my sorrows. I guess the weird thing about this all is, Vegeta came out onto the porch and he said,
"Are you going to let it all end?" I was in no mood for his twisted riddles, so I just grunted and turned to walk away. But I know I heard him whisper "then it deserves to end like this." I know he said that, sayian hearing, remember? I don't know if he wanted me to hear that or what. Sometimes Vegeta confuses me. It's like he always knows something a step ahead of everyone else. My grandpa is like that too (Grandpa Goku, not my other) I don't have time to figure out what he meant. I guess I could look on the bright side - at least Marron didn't get him.
June 16th
I told Peter that I would go to the dance with him. What else was I going to do? Trunks is gone. He might as well be dead. I'm at home right now, all alone. The tv is on, but I don't know what I'm watching. My dad and mom went over to congratulate Trunks on his engagement, I refused to go. You know what? They knew about Jessica too. Everyone did except me. I think that is the weirdest thing! That's it, I'll be right back, I gotta call Bra.
I'm back. Okay, this is kinda strange, so let me see if I can remember my phone conversation with her. I first got Bulma, and then I asked to speak to Bra - who took like twenty minutes. Probably doing her nails or something.
"Hi ya, this is Pan right?" Okay. I guess Bulma said who it was, which is weird cause I didn't tell her. Guess she recognized my voice.
"Yeah, it's me. Bra, can I ask you a question?" She said 'yeah', so I continued. "Okay. How long has Trunks and Jessica been going out?"
"Why?" Agh, just answer!
"Cuz..."
"Umm, a couple of months, I guess."
"Bra, how is it possible that I never even knew about her! Trunks and I are good friends...aren't we?" I was so afraid that she would say 'uh, no, he hates you.' I was actually thinking of hanging up. But what she said was really weird. She said,
"Well, Pan, I don't know if I should tell you.. But when he and Jess first started going out," I cringed that she already had a nick name for this thief of hearts. "Trunks said he needed to get his mind away from some other girl.. Then he said 'which means you can't tell Pan about her.' We all took him seriously, in fact my dad supported him. I don't know why, honestly." Bra said, sounding kinda nervous. "I'm sorry Pan." Sorry? I was mad, real mad. I had never kept anything secret from Bra! Not even when I had sworn loyalty to someone else. I muttered a good-bye and hung up. And that's where I stand now. I'm even more confused than before. I have to get my mind off of this.
June 16th (later)
Hi. I'm back. It's just I thought of something, and I might forget it by tomorrow. See after I put my pen down before, I flicked the tv off, (discovered I was actually watching 'The Crocodile Hunter' Gag, you know you have no life when...) Anyway, so I decided to go on the internet, you know, engulf my mind in something, anything else. Well, unfortunately I just had to check my email, and I got a foreword from a friend. It had a few songs in it, and my gawd, one of them was so... Oh, here, I'll just write it out for you, k?
I heard he sang a lullaby. I heard he sang it from his heart. When I found out, thought I would die, Because that lullaby was mine. I heard he sealed it with a kiss. He gently kissed her cherry lips. I found that so hard to believe, Because his kiss belonged to me. How could an angel break my heart? Why didn't he catch my falling star? I wish I didn't wish so hard, Maybe I wished our love apart... How could an angel break my heart? I heard here face was white as rain, Soft as a rose that blooms in May. He keeps her picture in a frame, And when he sleeps he calls her name. I wonder if she makes him smile, The way he used to smile at me. I hope she doesn't make him laugh, Because his laugh belongs to me. How could an angel break my heart? Why didn't he catch may falling star? I wish I didn't wish so hard, Maybe I wish our love apart... How could an angel break my heart? Oh my soul is dying, it's crying. I'm trying to understand. Please help me...How could an angel break my heart? Why didn't he catch my falling star? I wish I didn't wish so hard, Maybe I wished our love apart... How could an angel break my heart?
Well, ain't that quaint. I really try to get my mind off the guy, but he doesn't seem to want to leave me alone. Oh, the phone's ringing. I gotta go.
June 17th
Turns out that was Peter on the phone yesterday. He wanted to know if I knew what colour my dress was to be, so he could match. I think I actually stopped breathing. Dress? I don't have a dress! Well, you can imagine my distress over it, so I just quickly told Peter I'd have to call him back, and I ran down the stairs. My parents weren't home, so I had to fly all the way to Capsule Corp. I don't know if I have ever made a spectacle of myself like I did then, and I sure have done some strange things. I raced into CC, (I haven't knocked on their house since I was two years old) I ran into the room where everybody was and screeched,
"Mother, my dress!!" Now, yes, I am definitely not one that would willingly prance around in dresses, but this was grad. Besides, I have changed since my dragon ball hunting days. (Don't know about that? I think that fills up my entire second diary. Go look for it on my book shelf) Heh heh, I have never seen my mother jump like she did. She bowed quickly, saying something to Jessica and then pushed me out the door. Bra quickly stopped us though.
"Videl, you can't go with your daughter to shop for her dress. I'll go." Bra said. I was extremely grateful. I did not want to shop with my mom (if you don't know why, you must be a guy or have an extremely cool mother), and besides Bra could always find the best deals on everything. My mother agreed, and grabbed my dad's credit card and gave it to me. Bra and I left quickly, but we still got to hear my dad's whining and complaining as we closed the door. Bra uncapsuled a car, (remember I flew), and we hopped in. The car is really nice actually, it's navy blue - and I love blue. I thanked Bra for going with me, and she just shrugged it off as one of those 'that's what friends are for' type things. Then she said,
"Look Pan. I'm sorry I kept Jessica a secret." I nodded and said it was okay, even though it really wasn't. I could have saved myself a LOT of grief, if I knew Trunks was gone. "How about we make a pack, never to keep secrets from each other... no matter what." You know what the silly thing is? I agreed. We pinky swore on it, and now I'm hooked. No secrets. None.
"Bra..." I could see she turned her cerulean eyes towards me with an eyebrow raised.
"If it's about my brother, I already know." Bra said. I couldn't believe what I just heard! She knows?!
"You do?"
"Yeah." Oh Dende...
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because then I'd have to tell you something else... Pan, I think Trunks..." she looked over at me, then turned to face the road. She hasn't talked agian yet. I'm serious. Yup, I'm in her car right now, driving to the mall. Shessh, don't you know diary? I take you everywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if the first time I get laid, I'm sitting there writing every detail. Woah, I can't believe I just wrote that. Ha! It's kinda funny, so I'll just leave it there. Just thinking about that subject reminds me of my promise ring. My daddy bought it for me on my 13th birthday. It's silver and simple (cause I was very tomboyish back then), but I love it. Every time I look at it, it reminds me of my promise to save myself for my one and only. Oh, here we are. I'll tell you all the details later.
June 17th (later)
Told you I would. When we got to the mall it wasn't very busy, which was nice. Bra led me straight away to a store she liked. When we got there, the clerk who was already with someone else, just left them and walked over to us. I wasn't sure if I was woahed or repulsed. I mean it was kinda cool to be instantly welcomed into a store like we were, but they left that other person just standing there. The guy that came to serve us had a suit on (minus the jacket, which I'm pretty sure I saw draped over a chair), and a measuring tape over his shoulder.
"My my, to what do we owe the pleasure Mrs. Briefs? Oh my, I so sorry, you look so sophisticated, I thought you were your mother." I later found out that he calls Bulma 'Miss Briefs' claiming she looks so young she looks like Bra. Can you say suck up? Bra giggled and pointed towards me.
"My best friend here needs a dress." He looked me up and down, and asked what my price range was. I didn't like this guy at all! Bra said it didn't matter the price, and she patted her purse. I was about to object but she said,
"Save your money. You'll want to look great for your date with Trunks at the party." That had totally slipped my mind. I guess since he was engaged I thought that he would go with Jessica, but Bra assured me the date was still on. Let me tell you, shopping with Bra is quite an experience. She won't have anything less than exceptional. Thanks to her, I got my dress, and I love it. I look as pretty as I'll ever get when I wear it. I am actually looking foreword to grad! Only 9 days to go!
June 18th
Hi! Today I'm sleeping over at Bra's house. Trunks and Uncle G are here too. Trunks calls it a pre-bachelor party. You know, a party 'to have fun with my pals till I get snagged into marriage' as he put it. I don't mind. We're having fun. The four of us are playing 20 questions. It's Briefs vs Sons. So far we're winning.
Are not!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, that was Bra. No secrets, right? No, I didn't really let her read this, but she knows it exists.
Yuppers.
Bra, go away! Okay. Oh we're gonna start another round. Wanna play? Just kidding. Seriously though, they already think I'm nuts for carrying you everywhere. In fact Trunk is eyeing you suspiciously. I think he wants to read it. Ha, I'd rip his voice box out. I just want a memento from which could very well be my last slumber party with Trunks. We used to have them all the time when we were kids. (Which is kinda a weird thing to say since he's always been 14 years older than me.) Okay, it's our turn to guess. I'll write down all the questions and answers, that way if anyone ever reads this (please don't think anything less of me now that you know all my secrets) they can have fun too! I need to be thinking though, so I'll get Bra to write 'em. Bye 4 now!
Hi. Oh, so tempting to go back and read the whole diary. Heh heh. Oh wait, Pan's complaining about my big writing. Is this any better? Heh heh. Okay. I don't think Goten or Pan will ever get this. For the record, this topic was Trunks' idea.
Bra just handed this back. My gawd... you know who it is now. Aw, crap, and it's my turn to guess.
nods. Bra is soo weird, sometimes, I wonder why she would pick 'me' as a topic. Okay, I was just informed that TRUNKS picked me as a topic. Ah, that jerk. Can't he see I'm trying to get over him! I have a 18 year old, hot, captain of the football team wrapped around my finger! I don't want to think about Trunks!! I do not want to think about him!!!!
June 19th
Peter called me this morning. He first called my house, where mom told him that I was at Bra's house on a sleep over. So he called me here. I thought that was pretty sweet of him. I wasn't awake though, so... When the phone rang, Trunks was the one who picked it up. We were all sleeping at the time, but I guess my mind was half awake because I remember hearing him say,
"Who? Pan? Who is this? Peter? Okay..." A few moments later he was gently nudging me. When I opened my eyes his face was inches away from mine. His pale lavender hair was trailing over his eyes which were in deep confusion. "Panny, there's some guy named Peter on the phone for you." I quickly took it, and sat up on the sofa. Trunks sat down on an easy chair, pretending to read a magazine, but I could tell he was just listening to my conversation... he was holding the magazine up-side down.
"Peter?"
"Hi, Panny!" It was weird. I didn't get angry at all when he said my name. It was like... I enjoyed it. I liked being called at CC by a guy, and having Trunks all concerned about it. Well, might as well go all out then.
"Hi Peter!"
"I was wondering...you said you'd get back on your dress colour..."
"Oh yeah! I sent you an email of it yesterday." What I just said registered in my mind. I had actually taken the time to find Peter's email! Maybe I did get over Trunks after all.
"Oh, thank you. I can't wait till the dance."
"Me too." I said with a smile. Trunks was glaring at the phone from under the book. I politely told Peter that I had to go, and he said that he missed me. It was weird, but I said "I miss you too." What was even more weird, was the way Trunks ki increased.
June 20th
Today was weird. It started out perfectly. I mean real perfect. Have you ever had a really awesome dream, and then didn't wake up until the sun cascaded through your room, slowly warming you face, so you wake up in that refreshed happy mood. That was today! My dream was sorta weird actually. I was standing in my school's gym, wearing my dress. There were lots of people around me dancing, but they weren't making any noise. There was no music. Everything was dead silent. Then Peter came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. I turned to face him and he was... beautiful. I can't describe him, which is weird because I always was able to capture in some small measure what Trunks looked like. He leaned in and asked me to dance. He whispered in my ear and it sent tingles up my spine. We started dancing to the music that wasn't there. The people around us started to fade, but one person remained. Trunks. He was in colour while everyone else had been in black and white. Trunks looked so sad, and he turned and started to walk away. His shoes made echoing noises, which were loud because you couldn't hear anything else. I glanced at Peter, and he was in black and white. I looked down at my dress, and it was its rightful colour. Trunks and I were the only ones in colour! I freed myself from Peter's grasp and ran after Trunks. By the time I made it outside, Trunks had his arms around Jessica.
"Where were you?" She asked playfully.
"Chasing after unreachable dreams." He replied. I ran to him, but my body went right through his. He couldn't see me. He ran his hand through Jessica's long red hair. It was red. She was in colour, but... now I was in black and white.
That's it. That's how it ended. It was pretty weird. I took a cold shower to shake off the memory of Trunks' words. Chasing after unreachable dreams The words haunted me through the entire morning. To get my mind off of things, I flew to park near the center of the city. I sat down near the pond, and watched the ducks swim around a bit. Dad always says that your dreams are your subconscious mind telling you of some unfinished events in your life. I think I know what I have to do. I don't think I'll ever be happy agian, unless I know for sure that I can never have Trunks. The only way to do that is to tell Trunks how I feel. But how do I do that? Just walk up to him and say,
"Gee Trunks. I know you're engaged and everything, and I know I'm 14 years younger than you, and I know you think of me as a sister, so this would be like inbreeding to you, but do you know something? I love you, and I always have! Let's get married! You don't need Jessica!" Umm, yeah, that would work out reeeal good. But what else can I do? This has got to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 'To look you in the eyes, and tell you I don't...' sorry. I'm trying to get my mind off things, which obviously isn't working too well. I'm at home, and dinner is already over. Mom and dad are downstairs watching tv together on the couch. I can't stand them sometimes. It's like they are totally oblivious to my love problems, so seeing them all cuddled up together doesn't help me in the slightest. Speaking of dad... I wonder what he would do if he knew that I was crazy over Trunks. I'm not sure... I mean Trunks does have a small reputation of being a 'lady's man' if you know what I mean. But, dad always respected and admired Marai Trunks (if you don't know, don't ask) I don't know. I need some fresh air. I think I'll go back to the park. The ducks are probably lonely. I guess I'll have to face Trunks sooner or later. It's the major fork in the road in my life. One road leads to eternal happiness with the man I live for... and the other leads to total embarrassment and heart ache. I guess now I just need to figure out if the one road is worth risking the chance of walking down the other.
June 21st
You know how I went to the park last night? Well, you will never guess who I met there! Actually, you probably will. Yes, Trunks was there. I was sitting by the lake again, watching the ducks. Something about the birds fascinate me. They just keep swimming along, with their heads held high. Anyway, I was just thinking about stuff in general, when I felt a hand on my sholder. Then someone whispered "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?" I turned and saw Trunks. Smiling I said, "I could ask you the same thing." Then he said.
"Are you saying I'm a girl?"
"Well, you fight like one." I thought he would just make a smart comment back to me, but instead he tackled me down. We both rolled a bit along the grass, and ended up with him on top of me. Umm, you can imagine my pleasure. He just sorta stared into my eyes for a few seconds, but believe me, it felt like eternity! By the time he mumbled an apology and rolled off me, I was breathing kinda fast. He stood up and began to walk away, but then quickly turned back and said,
"Hey, you wanna get an ice cream?" I eagerly excepted. I don't pass down ice cream for anything! And..Trunks knows that. We quickly found a ice cream stand and got ourselves a cone. (Trunks' treat) We started to walk through the pathways in the park, licking our ice creams . I didn't really like the silence, so I decided to make conversation.
"So, excited about getting married?" I asked him. He didn't answer for a second but then smiled and nodded. "Scared?"
"Nah." Liar. I don't know of a single person who wasn't scared at the thought of such a big commitment. "So Pan, what do you think of Jessica?" He asked.
"What do I think of her? I just met her. Which brings us to this. Why did you keep her a secret from me?" Heh heh, if Bra won't spill it, he will. He better.
"I'm sorry. I just... Pan, I... Oh, Pan we have to figure out what we're doing for your grad party!" Smooth. Real smooth. I'll have to get it out of him later.
"You're right! Any ideas?"
"Not really."
"Oh, how 'bout if one of us goes as an angel and the other one as the devil." I suggested it to him, and I guess he really liked the idea, cause he immediately agreed.
"Okay, but on one condition. You're the angel... you look good in white." He looked at his watch suddenly, muttered that he had to go, and blasted off. The jerk left me standing there with a melting ice cream. So I just kinda shrugged it off, turned around and made my way back home.
June 22nd
Today I'm over at Grandma Chichi's house. Mom and dad went to the 'movies' which is a lie, because the movie they said they were seeing isn't playing today. They must think I'm pretty stupid, I know they're just getting my grad gift. Ah well, I don't care. Today has been kinda slow. This morning I went and spared with Gradpa Goku and Mr. Piccolo, much to Chichi's displeasure. I don't think she likes the fact that all of her family likes a good fight. I did pretty good against Piccolo, but no one can beat Goku. Not even Vegeta. Which is pretty darn funny when you think that now he is the most powerful in the entire universe, but at one point was killed against someone with a power level of 1000 (my great uncle Raditz) Life is weird. I asked grandma what she and Goku were going as for the party, and apparently she had forgotten all about it. She and I went up to the attic to see if we could get any ideas from the things there. I managed to find an adult sized pink bunny costume, which I thought was hilarious! Grandma didn't know when it was from, but it has Goku's name on the tag. I suggested that he go as the Easter Bunny, and that she go as the Tooth Fairy. Chichi seemed to think this idea was good, because she started looking around for some material to make herself a dress. I helped her make her own costume, which is kinda strange, cuz I didn't know I was so good with a needle and thread.
Grandma was trying it on, and she looked very pretty. Her dress was pale blue and fell down to the ground. We made a little wand with a silver star at the tip of it, and I made a choker for her that had a shark's tooth as the charm. (I borrowed the tooth from uncle G) Goku was just coming in from training when he saw Chichi. He must have thought she looked darn sexy, cause he decided to stare at her, rather than the food that was on the table. His mouth gawked open for a few seconds too. Thinking about it, grandma did look more pretty when she wore her hair down, letting it curl around her face. Chichi explained to grandpa that this was her costume, and that he was going as the Easter Bunny. She informed him that he would get to wear the pink bunny suit. Well, while grandma was changing back, grandpa put on that bunny suit, and held his hands together in front of him, bended his knees, and began to hop around the house. I have never been more afraid in my entire life.
Since I helped grandma with her costume, I asked if she wouldn't mind helping me with a part of mine. I wanted help in creating the wings for my angel costume. We went back up into the attic, were grandpa found some transparent silky white stuff. It looked really expensive, so I declined in using it, but she insisted. Using some wire that I melted and shaped, she sewed the material onto the wired frame. They looked amazing. When placed on my back, they looked like butterfly wings, and they sparkled in the light. (That may be because we added silver sparkles to it, but I don't know.) There's only 3 more days! Wow, I just flipped through my diary. I don't have all that many pages left. I better pick up another one when next time I'm out.
June 23rd
Talk about things getting more messed up. Apparently the headmaster at our school has to go away on the 25th for some big hooda thing. So the student body voted to have the grad either on the 24th or the 26th. I'm writing this in study hall, and the votes are still being tallied. I haven't seen Trunks since we had ice cream in the park, and even though that was only two days ago, it seems like an eternity. I hope you don't think that this obsession with him sprung up over night, because it didn't. I have had a crush on Trunks Vegeta Briefs for almost my entire existence. But the funny thing is, right now, he's not the guy on my mind...well, he's not on it as much as he usually is.
Today when I was at my locker, Peter ran up to me with a single rose and a note was attached to it. The note:
Hey babe,
I've kissed each petal on this
rose, thinking of you, and I can't wait
to try the real thing, hoping I'll get it
real soon. Two more days, hon.
Peter.
Okay yes, his attempt at poetry was pathetic, and I don't know if I should be scared or flattered. But the thing is, I have never been treated like this before. Okay, ya sure, I've had boyfriends before. But not one of them has ever done something like this before. It's like...I don't know. It makes me feel so special. Like I am the most luckiest girl alive. I used to feel that way when Trunks was with me...but that feeling is gone now. It's more like an insecure and lonely feeling when I'm with him. Peter is sweet, and when I'm with him, its as if time has stopped.
But you know... I think my heart is playing tricks on me. There is no way I can just ditch Trunks when the first sign of someone else remotely close to his perfection comes along. I think this is just my way to get over him. We all have our ways. Trunks' was to date Jessica. I squeezed that out of him, but he wouldn't tell me who he was trying get his heart away from. Either way, look where it got him. Tell me, is your life this complicated? I just want one man, but I can't have him, so I go for a substitute, but I still love the first guy, so in staying with the second, am I being fair to either of us??
That was the headmaster. Seems grad is tomorrow now. I guess we get the rest of the day off. Man, my pages are really running low... remind me to get a new diary!!
June 24th
Let's backtrack in time and start at the beginning. I was nervously chewing on my nails, waiting for Peter to arrive. (TODAY WAS GRAD!!) Mom kept scolding me for chewing on them and said it would ruin my nails. My nails had been done for this occasion - they were coloured deep blue and had a silver snow flake painted on each nail. Finally the door bell rang, and I could hear my father greet Peter in. Peter must have past daddy's 'test' because almost immediately he called for me. I slowly made my way to the stairs, and just kinda stood at the top smiling down at Peter (who had his mouth almost to the floor) I don't know, I thought I looked pretty darn hot, so I guess I did. Lets see, my navy blue, spaghetti strapped dress was pretty tight in the chest and torso, but then flowed out as it lengthened to the ground. Little silver slow flakes dotted the bottom hem of my dress, and they matched perfectly with the ones in my hair. My hair had been curled and piled on the top of my head, save for a few small strands that framed my face. My makeup was all in dark blues and silvers. I didn't have any jewelry on except my promise ring (which I never go without). I walked down the stairs, careful not to trip on my heeled sandals, and at the bottom, Peter kissed my hand. We then linked arms and got out into the car.
As we sat in the car, neither one of us talked. I was busy fingering the bouquet of blue roses Peter had bought me, and I guess he was too busy driving. The silence was comfortable. I guess I should mention now, that last night I had the same dream as I had a few nights before. (You know with the dancing people in black and white and everything) When we pulled up to the school, it was totally amazing. (Now I don't know how it is at every other school, but ours is pretty weird. We were having our dance now, and then right after was the actual ceremony) I think they did this so no one could drink a lot of alcohol, but I don't know. Anyway, the gym was set up in a mediaeval romance sorta thing, and it looked gorgeous. Peter immediately pulled me onto the dance floor, and we started to dance to...get this. 'How Could an Angel Break my Heart?' by Toni Braxton. Now I thought this was way weird, cause I just wrote that song in here like three days ago! Now, I haven't slow danced with many people, but let me tell you - Peter can dance! He holds you close, but not too close, and tight - just tight enough so that you feel safe and secure. And just close enough that he won't suffocate you, but he can still whisper in your ear. It was so romantic. I don't really remember the rest of the night, it kinda all went by in a big blur. I do, however remember when they announced the prom king and queen. Peter got deemed the king, and the head cheerleader; Leslie, got to be the queen. I didn't know they separated couples like that, but oh well. I didn't matter, because after they had their 'king and queen' dance, which is tradition, Peter took off his crown and placed it on my head, He said;
"I think you are more deserving of this, because you rule over my heart." Corny? Yeah. But it worked! He pulled his arms around my waist, and brought his face closer to mine. His lips brushed by mine, but it didn't feel right. I steped back, and saw him behind us, just staring. Trunks. He was looking at me, and then he turned and walked away. Peter moved in for a second try, and I know this is weird, but I could actually just picture him fading into black and white. Obviously he didn't, but it was there. I gently took off the crown, and handed it to him, and raced from the dance. I don't know why, but I had to get to Trunks before...
I was too late. He already had his arm around Jessica. He told her that they had to talk, and they walked off. I felt a sharp pressure on my shoulder, and knew someone was behind me. When I turned to see who it was, the person covered his free hand over my mouth and dragged me away. We were hidden in the bushes before he turned me around so I could see him.
"Peter?" I asked. I was so scared. The way he was looking at me...
"You really embarrassed me in there Panny." This time the name didn't make me angry or happy, it made me sick. Having him say it the way he did... I wanted to hurl. He grabbed my chin and kissed me. My lips still kinda hurt from his forceful kiss, but I'll live. He moved his hand for one of my straps and whispered, "You know... you really are beautiful. That's why I chose you out of all those girls..." He tried to move my strap down my arm, but I sorta... heh heh, well I kicked him where it hurt. (Use your imagination ladies) I quickly got out of there as fast as I could. And I was glad. Not only to get away from that wannabe man, but it turns out the ceremony was about to begin. Tragically, Peter couldn't make it. Heh heh.. Sometimes I don't know my own sayian strength.
After the ceremony Trunks came up to me and said, "You know Pan, you looked really pretty tonight." I smiled and thanked him, I don't think I blushed... but I could have. Then he asked "Where's Peter?" and if I am not mistaken he sounded pretty angry. Maybe he knew all along. I told him that I 'disposed' of him. I guess he knew what I meant 'cause he winced. Then he said,
"Well, I guess this is our night for losing dates." When I asked him what he meant, he held open his hand, and resting on his palm was the engagement ring. He said, "Jessica wasn't the one for me. No, she wasn't the one at all." Seeing that ring in his palm, knowing that Trunks was single again, had to be the best graduation gift I could have ever got.
I was completely fooling myself too. You see...I just wanted Peter, so I could get away from Trunks. It was like proving to myself that I could live without him. It didn't work out that well, so does this mean I can't? Either way, I've learned my lesson. There is no replacing Trunks, because there is only one Trunks Vegeta Briefs in the entire universe... unless you count Marai Trunks...
June 25th
Okay, I have to write this all down. But it is soo much! And so few pages left! Okay, now before any of you jump to conclusions about me or Trunks, I should remind you that I have been emotionally (and physically) hooked on this guy for years!! Alright. Yesterday was grad, and my parents bought me this painting I have always wanted. It's got this princess overlooking a lake, and there's a guy coming up from behind her with a rose.. It's really cute, but I guess you'd have to see it. Anyway, today was my grad party at CC as I'm sure you would remember. I went over to CC early, becasue Bra was going to help me with my costume. Now when I got there, she was already in hers...it was...different. She had this long skirt with ice cream cones on it, and a tube top with cherries printed all over it. Then her hair was kinda swirled up on the top of her head.
"Bra, what are you?" I asked. I had honestly thought about it for awhile, but drew a bunch of blanks. Then my uncle steped into the room (he and Bra were dates, remember) and he had his pj's on with a long red cape and a Burger King crown on his head. I should mention that his pajamas actually have hamburgers printed on them. If you haven't guessed they were going as the Burger King, and the Dairy Queen. I thought it was fitting considering that Goten is always stuffing his face with food. Uncle G left, and Bra helped me apply all my make up. I didn't need to do my hair any different because it was still the same from last night, I just needed to touch it up a tad. In the middle of putting on some mascara, Bra said.
"Pan, I hafta tell you something." Okay, no big deal right? No more secrets. Wrong. "I told Trunks that you like him. WAIT! No, I told Trunks that you were obsessed with him!" I couldn't believe my ears. All I could think about was that this was some kind of sick joke. But Bra wasn't smiling. I could have murdered her right there. I felt more betrayed than from what Peter had done, or when Trunks failed to even mention Jessica. How could she? But.. "I only did it because he wasn't sure! He didn't want to do anything if you could never return his feelings."
"What are you talking about?" My voice was shaking by this point. Then she said,
"My brother...he loves you."
"Get real Bra. You know what? I don't find this very funny! That's a sick a cruel joke!" I would have gone further but Bulma called me because I had a phone call. It was Marron. She was wishing me the best, but she openly refused to come to the party. I couldn't blame her. Roshi scares me. I thanked her for calling, and she promised that we could do something together soon, which I agreed to.
I guess Bra left to go downstairs, because her room was empty. I quickly finished with my makeup trying to figure out what Bra had said. Did she really tell Trunks? Does Trunks like me? I had no clue. Gathering up my dress (cuz it was pretty long. I don't think I mentioned when I got my dress...no. I got it a few days ago. It's not that important) I walked to the main stair well, and looked down at all the couples.
There was Vegeta and Bulma. They came as most unlikely couple. They came as themselves. Heh heh, that was good. Then there was grandma and grandpa. I will never forget that silly grin he wore as he jumped around the dancing floor in his pink bunny suit. Krillen and 18 were doing this rainbow thing or something. Krillen was dressed in nothing but black and gray, while 18 had a long flowing dress that was extremely colourful. Every time she turned, the light would capture a different colour of the dress. It was pretty cool. Mom had this flight attendant's outfit on with little tiny feathered wings on her back. While dad wore a real long black robe and had a scythe. I'm pretty sure they were birth and death. (You know the stork and the grim reaper) I don't know what Roshi was supposed to be... well I do. Okay, he was dressed as a turtle. Yeah, a turtle. I just don't know what Marron was supposed to come as. Either way, seeing him search around for his 'date' was hilarious. Then I saw Trunks... he was laughing at Uncle G's pjs. Trunks was wearing black. ALL BLACK. He had a small pair of shades covering his eyes, a black turtle neck, with black pants, with black boots, and this long leather trench coat. Bra seemed to notice me, and nudged Goten and herself away from Trunks. Trunks turned to see what Bra had seen, and well, he saw me. He kinda stared for a second, and then removed his sunglasses to get a better look. Now I don't know what I really looked like, but I can tell you what my outfit was. Of coarse I had my silver wings sewed onto my dress, and I had a small tiara resting on my head. My dress' collar clipped together at the back of the neck, and it had no back. Basically it was like a halter top. It flowed down pretty far, and even trailed slightly behind me. And according to my mother 'it hugs and let goes in all the right places'. Trunks leapt up the stars two at a time, and carefully took my hand. He slowly led me down the stairs, and whispered to me,
"You know, I thought you were beautiful last night. I didn't think you could improve any. You should have warned me." This time I know I blushed at his comment. I wasn't sure if Bra actually told him or not that I like him. It was hard to tell. We slow danced to a lot of songs. Other girls from my school that were invited asked him to dance, but he declined them all because I was his date. I told him that I didn't want him to feel obligated, and that he could dance with anyone that he wanted. I hated feeling like I was bringing him down. I have always felt that way, when Trunks would give up dates just because I whined to be with him when I was younger. I sat down at one of the tables, but Trunks came right over. Before he could get to me though, a pretty blond came and asked him to dance. He said,
"I'm sorry miss. But I will only dance with the fairest at this dance." Then he came and asked me to dance. I couldn't believe it! Maybe Bra did tell him, and he was just trying to be nice to me. Or...maybe he actually did like me. It was very confusing.
After countless more dances, he pulled me outside onto a balcony. He looked up at the stars and asked,
"Is that where you live angel?" I said that it was with a smile. "You really do look like an angel. You did a nice job with your costume." I thanked him and returned the compliment. The night air was beginning to bite at my bare arms, and I turned to go inside, but Trunks grabbed my wrist. He gently pulled me back, and hugged me tightly and rubbed my arms. "You cold?" He asked.
"Umm, not anymore." It was the only thing I could think of to say. I mean, he was warming me up nicely. Then he lifted my chin and... my gawd, that's it, he kissed me! Yes, he actually kissed me! Fully! On the lips! Ahhhhhh! It was so deep, and passionate, and and and wonderful! I melted into his embrace right there! Seriously, if he hadn't been holding me up, I would have fallen flat on my butt from all the energy he was pouring into the kiss. When he finally stopped for air, I looked up at him confused. Well, duh! What did you expect? He said,
"Pan, Bra said that you kinda...liked me..." I was mad. She actually did tell him, that little... "Is it true?" Well I was cornered. Might as well get it over with.
"Ya."
"Good. If you didn't, I would never have the guts to say this. But Pan, I have been wanting to be with you forever! You see, the only reason I ever went out with Jessica was to get my mind off of you. Then I thought it we married, I could put you behind me forever. I didn't want to! I just thought that you would be repulsed that a guy 15 years older than you would want to..."
"14 years." I quickly corrected. He smiled and nodded.
"Yes, sorry, 14 years older. But, when I saw you kiss that Peter guy, I realized I couldn't. I would live the rest of my life in misery. Every time I'd see you with your husband, kissing, it would be like a part of me died. But since you weren't married or engaged, I still had a chance. I just had to get rid of someone else first. Jessica. I don't know how I ever slipped this ring on her finger, because it only belongs to one woman. The angel of my heart." He looked down at me, and boy did I have the water works going. He slowly slipped down to one knee, and said.
"Pan, I have loved you through all of time and eternity, and I would be the happiest man ever to exist if you, Pan Son, would be mine. Pan...will you..." Oops, sorry guys. Ran out of paper!!
The End